Dear Dixie, I'm going through early menopause — how can I still feel part of the sisterhood?

By Dixie Laite, Age Against the Machine columnist

Dear Dixie,

I started going through menopause early. I think I officially entered menopause at 46, one year after my period stopped for good. Before this, I was a regular heavy bleeder. I don’t exactly miss my period, but it has been a part of my identity since I was 12! 

I am angry that it stopped early — partly because I feel like perimenopause and menopause are glossed over unlike getting your first period or pregnancy when it comes to women’s health. It’s just as much of a transition and milestone as your first period. Instead, the healthcare system seems to go immediately to HRT and vaginal atrophy. Ugh, it sounds horrible to think of your vagina atrophying, like it’s going to fall off and die! 

I know our periods aren’t what make us women, but when you are defined in medical terms, it feels like you aren’t worthy anymore. I look for early menopause support groups and I find nothing. The only person I can talk to about this is my cousin who is experiencing something similar. It honestly sucks! I feel ashamed that I went through menopause on the early side. I still want to feel like part of the sisterhood complaining about cramps and crazy periods. It’s silly, but I feel like my body betrayed me and if we were living in The Handmaid’s Tale, I would be sent to the colonies. I wish there was more info out there about early menopause and that I didn’t feel like I need to discuss it in hushed tones like something I should be embarrassed about! 

Ms. My Period