How to lower your stress before Election Day

PLUS: What they don't tell you about caregiving for aging parents | Surefire ways to increase your libido in peri/menopause!

Nov 03, 2024

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Real advice for how to stress less over politics

A study by the American Psychological Association published in October 2024 points out that the number-one cause of stress right now isn’t money or even relationships — it’s politics. And unless you’ve been (blissfully) under a rock lately, you’re probably feeling a bit of it with just a few days to go until Election Day.

Even if you’re early-voted, stress hasn’t left your heavy shoulders this weekend. That’s because, for most people, politics is a very polarizing aspect of their lives. It doesn’t matter what party affiliation you are — everyone’s feeling it.

“Seven out of 10 adults say the future of the nation is a significant source of stress in their lives and the issue crosses party lines: 80% of Republicans rated it a top stressor, so did 79% of Democrats, and 73% of Independents,” notes a recent NPR article about the study.

The APA study, titled “Stress in America 2024: A Nation in Political Turmoil,” notes that it’s the worry over what happens after November 5th that’s causing the most mental angst. The majority of the more than 3,000 people surveyed in early August by the APA reported that not only do they worry about “the future of our nation,” but a nearly equal number are stressing out about “the economy” and following in third, “the presidential election itself.”

At 77%, worries over the future of our nation are no small concern to the survey group. What’s surprising is they came in more than 20% higher than literally dangerous fears, like gun violence.

Where do we go from stressed out?

When faced with so much stress, it can be difficult to function — where is a person to turn? It seems the best course is the most inherently human: talking to each other.

“Really listening to where other people are coming from and encouraging them to share more with us rather than share less with us,” says Tania Israel, author and professor of counseling psychology at UC Santa Barbara. “Because folks are more nuanced, more complex, and less extreme than we imagine them to be.”

An NPR survey found that about 1 in 4 people have ended a friendship over political differences — and that can feel pretty personal! But the results from ending your diverse political friendships can also lead to worse outcomes, like finding yourself in an echo chamber of similar thinkers, or social isolation. When “them” becomes a punchline or demonization, we do a disservice to the folks we no longer view as neighborly.

When we step back from stereotypes, we can see “how truly complex and thoughtful people are,” says Israel. Cultivating empathy and compassion, putting down the polarizing social media “hot takes,” and engaging in community groups (instead of virtual scapegoating) can all lead to a more holistic viewpoint.

How to set healthier political boundaries

Even this close to the election, it’s possible to lower your political stress level. It just takes some healthy steps in the right direction.

1. Digital detox

Setting boundaries can involve setting down the phone, tablet, or just signing out to your socials more often. Try to listen to that voice that says “maybe I’ve been fighting with strangers on X too long today” – because you probably have been.

2. Be more media literate

If you are going to consume media, be cautious about what you’re listening to. Polarizing media is meant to rile you up – no matter what side of the aisle you’re on. Look at this diagram or this other chart of “media bias” of major networks and outlets and try to get to the middle of it so you’re not just hearing the rhetoric that’s making your blood boil.

3. Get real in real life

Go out for some in-person communication with your support team. Talk to them about what you’re feeling and soak in the good vibes of friends who will be with you on November 5th — and every day that comes afterward.

Caregiving for Mom: What they don’t tell you

BY MARIA LOERA

It was nearing 2:00 in the afternoon on a hot and muggy mid-August day. I tried to listen intently as the nurse ran through instructions, medication schedules, follow-up appointments, discharge papers, and so on. Sign here. Initial there.

“Any questions? Will you need help getting her in the car?”

My head was spinning trying to process everything she was saying. I couldn’t stop thinking about what things would look like now.

When all of my mom’s belongings had been gathered and packed up, and all paperwork had been signed, the nurse handed me what seemed like a large paper grocery bag full of medications and supplies. I had never felt so overwhelmed in my life. I felt a lump in my throat and the tears welling up in my eyes. I just wanted the nurse to assure me everything was going to be okay.

As difficult as it was, I kept myself together. I took a deep breath, thanked the nurses, then we headed down to meet my brother who was waiting with the car.

After a month-long stay at the hospital and my daily back and forth during visiting hours, Mom was finally going home. But little did I know that this was just the beginning.

Our new normal

My mom’s stroke caught my family like a deer in the headlights. It was all so surreal. From one day to the next, my mom went from planting hydrangeas in her garden and making her famous flan for my nieces — to the intensive care unit of a hospital, unable to speak or move.

And now, a month later, she was back home. Or rather, a new version of my mom came back from the hospital. She wasn’t the happy, loving, strong, and independent mom we knew. She was now a stroke survivor who had to navigate life in a wheelchair, unable to communicate her most basic needs. She was now completely dependent on us.

Over 65 million people (29%) of the US population give care to chronically ill, disabled, or elderly family members/friends. They provide an estimated 20 hours a week of care. On average, adult children giving care to aging parents are women around the age of 49.

One of the bedrooms in my parents’ home was converted into a pseudo-hospital room for my mom, hospital bed and all. My days as a caregiver now consisted of administering morning, noon, and evening medications, checking blood pressure, checking blood sugars, checking for soiled diapers, and checking in on my mental health as I continued to process this new normal.

It was as if I had taken on a second full-time job I didn’t apply for and was desperately trying to keep the spinning plates from falling and crashing on the floor. They eventually crashed and I lost my job right before the holidays.

I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders as the eldest of three kids and the single daughter. My brothers offered to help, as did my father, but it was mostly just me “manning” the ship. I was on call, the fixer, the one looking for answers in this unknown territory that we now found ourselves in, especially during the months immediately following the stroke.

This story was originally published on the-midst.com here last week.

16 ways to reclaim your libido during peri/menopause

BY EMILY ORNBERG

Reigniting your sexual spark starts with a journey of self-discovery. Whether you’re experiencing a temporary lull or a more persistent drought, you’re not alone. More than 33% of women in perimenopause or menopause report having sexual difficulties, from lack of interest in sex to trouble having an orgasm, according to Johns Hopkins Medicine.

Hormonal shifts, stress, relationship dynamics, and even certain medications can impact your libido (especially in your midst era). The main culprit is declining levels of estrogen, which can reduce the desire to have sex and make sexual arousal more difficult. Maybe, too, you’re facing lower energy levels, nagging physical pains, even challenges to your body image — all of which affect your sex drive.

Fortunately, getting your groove back can happen with some simple lifestyle changes, described below.

What can I do to light the fire?

1. Prioritize self-care

Sexuality starts with a healthy lifestyle. Feeling good, getting enough sleep, being physically active, and eating well can go a long way toward keeping the spark of intimacy and sexuality alive.

2. Reduce stress

Engage in activities that help you relax and de-stress, such as yoga, meditation, or even spending time in nature. Chronic stress triggers the release of cortisol, a hormone that can suppress the production of sex hormones like testosterone and estrogen.This hormonal imbalance can lead to decreased sexual desire.

3. Get enough sleep

Aim for 7-8 hours of quality sleep each night to improve overall well-being and mood. When you’re well-rested, you’re more likely to feel mentally sharp and emotionally connected, which is always sexy.

4. Nourish your body

Eat a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains to support your hormonal balance. Vitamins and minerals like zinc, vitamin D, and vitamin B12 play crucial roles in hormone production, including sex hormones.

5. Stay active

Regular exercise can boost energy levels and improve mood, both of which can positively impact your libido.