Glimmers: Why you need these small moments of joy in your mental health toolbox
Daily activities and experiences that shift our moods don't always have to be big and splashy. Search for the smaller, shiny things to keep you in the flow
Have you ever stopped to notice a rainbow and felt instantly calmer? Or felt overcome with awe when acknowledging the twinkling lights on a Christmas tree? Perhaps you got a whiff of salty sea air and, for a few seconds, you felt like everything was right in the world.
If you can relate, then chances are you’ve experienced a glimmer. This sunny term describes those magical micro-moments of unadulterated happiness that spark joy and invoke a feeling of calm.
Kelly Weekers, psychologist and 3x best-selling author of Happy Life 365, The Power of Choice, and Choosing Me says that unlike their opposite — triggers — glimmers activate feelings of safety, love, and joy, and can put us into a wonderful frame of mind.
Glimmers aren’t anything new. They were first introduced in 2018 by licensed clinical social worker Deb Dana in her book The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation, and popularized in a viral TikTok video in 2022 by psychologist Dr. Justine Grosso.
Since then, the #glimmers hashtag has racked up more than 12 million views, with many social media users espousing the profound impact that small moments — like a beautiful sunset, a warm hug from a friend, or a smile from a stranger — have had on their mental health.
“Contrary to triggers that activate the sympathetic nervous system and our fight or flight stress response, glimmers activate the parasympathetic nervous system — associated with relaxation and calm.” — Dr. Deb Dana
So, just how useful are glimmers for our mental health and how can you get better at seeking them out?
It would be easy to dismiss glimmers, to suggest that in the great picture of our lives, they are too brief and insignificant to really have an impact on something as complex as our mental health. But though they are but fleeting, they are mighty.
“Contrary to triggers that activate the sympathetic nervous system and our fight or flight stress response, glimmers activate the parasympathetic nervous system — associated with relaxation and calm,” Weekers explains.
That’s good news for your physical health, because a relaxed nervous system is associated with a better immune system, low levels of stress hormones, and lower blood pressure. It probably won’t come as much of a surprise that glimmers can positively impact your mental and emotional state as well.
And they may be particularly useful if you’re going through a difficult time. Weekers says that by noticing glimmers we are actively directing our focus to the positive. It’s a reminder that even in tough times, moments of unadulterated joy, presence, and bliss can still exist, and I think you’ll agree that’s pretty comforting.
What’s more, when you make a habit of finding and appreciating glimmers, you may go someway to overriding your in-built negativity bias, or in less science-y terms, our tendency to focus on the negative.
Kelly says this survival mechanism means we are constantly on the lookout for danger, which can be useful if there’s a tiger in your kitchen, but less so when you aren’t under any actual threat.
When you actively refocus on positive experiences, over time you re-train your brain to notice more and more of the same. Gradually you’ll pay less attention to the things that are getting you down, and more to the happy moments that are lifting you up.
This mindset shift can be crucial during times of strife and challenge.
“What we know is that negative emotions cause narrow-mindedness and limit the possibilities we see. Positive emotions, on the other hand, have the exact opposite effect,” Kelly says. “When we experience positive emotions like joy, contentment, and love, we see more possibilities in life.”
That might mean you find solutions to your problems more readily, or that you simply feel more resilient to stress. Either way, it suggests that glimmers offer a reprieve from difficult emotions, and serve as a reminder that better times are possible.
Glimmers won’t make all your problems disappear. However, they suggest that even when you are at your lowest ebb, in the depths of sadness, grief, frustration, or anger, you can still access feelings of optimism, calm, and joy.
Glimmers won’t make all your problems disappear. However, they suggest that even when you are at your lowest ebb, in the depths of sadness, grief, frustration, or anger, you can still access feelings of optimism, calm, and joy.
How to find your glimmers
The great news is that glimmers are everywhere! We only need to look for them. Even on the bleakest of days, with a little effort, we can find small moments that bring us joy, whether it’s the sunlight on our morning walk, that first invigorating sip of coffee, or the joy-giving smile on your child’s face.
If you’re wondering how to seek out glimmers, Kelly advises making a list of some of the things that make you happiest.
“Often, these are not the big things. They are the small moments that happen day in and day out. The trouble is, we often don’t notice them because we’re moving through our days on autopilot,” she says.
You might be glued to your phone, or have to-do list tunnel vision. Weekers says it’s hard to be mindfully present in this busy world of ours, and that’s why we often miss those beautiful moments.
The solution? Practicing the art of mindful focus, or in less woo-woo terms, actively focusing on what’s happening right now. Any time you catch your mind wandering, Weekers advises refocusing on the present moment by tuning into your senses.
One by one, ask yourself what do I see, hear, smell, taste, and feel. Then, in your head, describe your answers to each one.
With practice, this process will get easier, and you’ll regularly find yourself immersed in the present moment, which Kelly says just so happens to improve your chances of experiencing a glimmer.
As for that list Kelly mentioned earlier? With your newly honed focused attention, Kelly advises getting into the habit of noticing – and appreciating – the items on your list. And when you find them, give them your undivided attention.
You might like to retrospectively document the glimmers you uncovered too. Make a point of listing out the moments that brought you joy before you go to bed.
Glimmers don’t always have to be left up to chance.
You can also get into the habit of cultivating those moments. If a sunny morning walk puts a smile on your dial, lace up your shoes and get out the front door. If seeing your child smile brings you the most joy, plan something you know they’ll really enjoy.
Maybe there’s an aspect of your current routine that you could make even more joyful. Always have a 3pm cuppa? You could drink from your favorite mug, light a scented candle, and park yourself up in front of a lovely view.
There’s no cookie-cutter cure for mental health, and one fleeting moment of happiness is unlikely to change whatever it is that’s getting you down. But sometimes even the smallest of glimmers can give us the hope we need to navigate whatever is stressing us out.
Victoria Stokes is an Irish mental health and wellbeing writer with a decade of experience in online and print media. She regularly contributes to publications such as Happiful, Health & Wellbeing, and Healthline. A former magazine editor, she now works freelance — a role that involves ingesting far too much caffeine while juggling many writing projects. When she’s not working on her next story, you’ll usually find her with her nose in a good book.
Love this and I just did a glimmer post this week too, it felt very seasonally necessary! https://sleepyhollowink.substack.com/p/glimmer-vs-trigger