How to not talk turkey + your gift guide for Gen X and Xennial GALs

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Shut your piehole

BY LAURIA LOCSMONDY

“We have 1 pumpkin, so maybe pecan and apple? Going to mom and dad’s now. Reminding them all that we’re not doing any political talk over Thanksgiving. I told the kids too. It’ll ruin the day.”

This text from my brother is probably just like one you already received — or sent. How can the same group of smart, kind-hearted people have such strong, oppositional opinions? (This is rhetorical; I know the answer. But still, it blows my mind.)

If you choose to celebrate the holiday with different-minded folks, how do you maintain sanity without screaming, “Shut your piehole!” An article by Leah Donnella of NPR suggests that we have three ways to survive the day that are deeper than, say, 20 things to talk about other than politics:

1. You don't need to label anyone as ultimately good or bad.

We humans love categories — they help us make sense of the world. Still, labeling people as right or wrong is a disservice to them and you: People are complicated. Plus, you can never change someone. (They have to change themselves.)

2. You neither have to ignore reality — or forgive it.  

This comes down to acceptance of reality — not others’ choices. (There’s a clear distinction.) You don’t have to forgive your idiot uncle for his political actions, but by acknowledging the present situation as it is, you can make an empowered decision to love them anyway — or not.

3. You don't need to deny your humanity.

“In times of deep political division, there's often the pressure for people — especially marginalized people — to set aside their differences for the sake of some supposedly higher ideal, like ‘unity’ or ‘civility.’ At those moments, it's worth remembering a quote coined by Robert Jones Jr., the author who founded Son of Baldwin: ‘We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.’

And once again — if that's the dynamic, feel free to cancel those dinner plans and instead, spend your one precious life with people who believe that your life is precious.”

What are you anticipating for Thanksgiving — fun times or loaded conversations? Let’s discuss …

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Subversive Cross Stitch

What you should really gift your Gen X + Xennial friends this holiday

BY ANNE HOLUB

For the love of all that’s punk rock, don’t get caught up in the Black Friday nonsense this year. Your GAL-friend will NOT be OK if you fall for some newfangled nonsense that will just get added to the trash pile in a week or two (looking at you, Squatty Potty).

Instead, get them gifts from the heart that really speak to their interests. Here are some simple but meaningful gift ideas for even the hardest-to-shop-for independent girlie on your list. 

1. Shop small times two with Field Notes and East Fork Pottery

Joining forces for this latest quarterly notebook drop, Chicago design group Field Notes Brand is collaborating with Asheville, NC-based ceramics studio East Fork Pottery for a bundle that’s just dreamy. Their “Dream Pack”($55) of three beautiful (as always) silkscreened pocket notebooks can (for a very limited time) be bundled with a lovely handmade mug.

You can even add a donation to help Asheville-area residents who are still in recovery mode from this fall’s epic flooding via Hurricane Helene. Hurry — as of this article, you can only get the mug n’ notebooks bundle on East Fork’s website. 

2. For the runner (and reader) who’s doing her best

The book Up to Speed: The Groundbreaking Science of Women Athletes tackles what we’ve known as women for ages: female athletes are really amazing! If your Gen Xer friend is also a runner, or just into reading some great books this year, try this one for their TBR (that’s, to-be-read) pile.

Other bookish ideas include the autobiography Rebel Girl: My Life as a Feminist Punk by Riot Grrl legend, Kathleen Hanna, or you can even pre-order singer/songwriter Neko Case’s memoir, The Harder I Fight the More I Love You: A Memoir, which debuts in January. Not sure what to get? Try just a gift card to your local indie bookstore.

3. Get her something to stab repeatedly

Like a holiday-themed cross stitch kit — with an edge — from Subversive Cross Stitch. From prettily broadcasting your lack of, er, forks left to your very own Merry Crisis, these kits (or PDF pattern downloads!) make for some DIY fun for the crafty person on your list. Hashtag, Sleigh.