Let’s unfigure some shit out together
Here’s the thing psychology keeps trying to tell us: the women who feel most disoriented in midlife aren’t the ones who didn’t make their dreams come true. They’re the ones who executed flawlessly — built the career, the relationship, the lifestyle — on a blueprint they drew up at 22.
Developmental psychologist Daniel Levinson called it the collision between the “dream” and the reality. At midlife, we stop and actually look at what we built. And sometimes the honest answer is: this is impressive, and it isn’t mine anymore.
That’s not failure. That’s growth with a delay.
A decade-long MacArthur Foundation study of 3,000 midlifers found that only 23% of people report experiencing a midlife crisis — and when they do, it’s usually triggered by a specific event, not aging itself. It also tends to show up most in highly educated, high-achieving people. In other words: the people who followed the map most diligently are the ones most likely to question the destination.
There’s a better metaphor than a map, and it comes from psychologist Abigail Shapiro: use a compass. A map gives you a fixed destination and grades your life by how closely you hit it. A compass gives you direction without dictating arrival. It keeps you oriented without making every detour a failure.
Psychoanalyst Erik Erikson framed the core question of midlife as: Am I doing anything that matters? Will anyone know I was here? Women over 40 tend to feel this urgency viscerally — not as crisis, but as clarity. The noise finally drops enough to hear what you actually want.
Neugarten’s research put it simply: at midlife, we stop counting the years we’ve lived and start counting the ones we have left. Now that I’m freshly 50, this is exactly how I’m feeling. I’m declaring this my Badass Era.
TL;DR: The compass beats the map. Instead of asking “did I hit my goals,” start asking “does this still feel like mine?” The women navigating midlife with the most grace aren’t the ones who had it all figured out — they’re the ones willing to unfigure it.
Your June 2026 horoscope is right here
By Mandy Wilde
This month we are asked to notice the quality of our breathing. Gemini season draws our attention to what we take in and how we move it through us. The body parts ruled by Gemini include the lungs, the nervous system, the shoulders, arms, and hands. These are the places where we process the world and where we hold what we cannot yet put down. When something goes unspoken or unresolved this month, your body will likely let you know through tight shoulders, restless hands or shallow breathing.
Pay attention to what you are carrying and whether you are breathing mindfully. The Venus-Jupiter conjunction on June 9 offers a rare and genuine opening of the heart. The New Moon in Gemini on June 14 opens a window to begin something that has been living only in your mind. By June 29, when the Full Moon in Capricorn arrives alongside Mercury stationing retrograde and Jupiter entering Leo, the month reaches its full and considerable crescendo.
Key astrological dates in June 2026
June 9: Venus conjoins Jupiter in Cancer (love and abundance)
June 14: New Moon in Gemini
June 29: Full Moon in Capricorn
June 29: Mercury stations retrograde in Cancer
June 29: Jupiter enters Leo
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
June asks you to inhabit your body rather than simply drive it, Aries. Gemini season lights up your third house of communication and local movement so you may feel especially wired this month noticing ideas coming in faster than you can sort them, or conversations pulling you in several directions. Your shoulders will tell you when you have taken on too much. The Venus-Jupiter conjunction on June 9 brings something sweet into your emotional life, likely through a friendship or an unexpected act of generosity. The New Moon on June 14 is your invitation to begin something in the realm of writing or learning. A word or an idea planted here has real growing power. When Mercury enters its shadow on June 12 and stations retrograde on June 29, you may notice your communication will begin to turn back on itself. This could look like old conversations returning or doubling back over something you thought had already passed. By the Full Moon in Capricorn on June 29, a professional chapter reaches a point of honest evaluation. Jupiter’s entrance into Leo on the same day is enormously good news for you! It means the months ahead bring a genuine expansion of joy and creative output.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
After the full bloom of your season, June brings something considerably more interesting, Taurus. Gemini season moves into your second house of money, resources and what you genuinely value, and the nervous quality of Gemini can sometimes make this feel like financial anxiety. Notice whether the worry is based in reality or in a pattern older than the present circumstances. June 19 marks Chiron’s entrance into your sign for a long stay. This will ask you to heal something at the root of how you feel about what you believe you deserve to receive. Embrace this period as it is the beginning of something profound. The Venus-Jupiter conjunction on June 9 brings warmth and abundance through the domestic sphere, through family or through a deepening sense of home. The New Moon on June 14 offers a beautiful reset around your financial intentions and what you are choosing to cultivate as genuinely yours. Mercury’s retrograde beginning June 29 will pull your attention back through conversations around money or self-worth. Again, let it. Something is ready to be revisited with fresh eyes. The Full Moon in Capricorn on the same day brings a long arc of philosophical exploration to a point of reckoning. You have grown considerably. Let yourself acknowledge that.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Happy birthday, Gemini! The Sun is in your sign and you are in your element, which is to say, you are everywhere at once and somehow not exhausted by it. Gemini season activates all of your ruled body parts. This includes the lungs, which want full breaths, the nervous system wants rest, and the shoulders and arms are carrying the accumulated weight of your magnificent multitasking. June 14 brings the New Moon in your sign, and this is your personal new year. Spend some time thinking about what you actually want to begin and what genuinely is calling to you this year. The Venus-Jupiter conjunction on June 9 brings a radiant opening through an exciting conversation, or a short trip. Mercury, your ruling planet, stations retrograde in Cancer on June 29, pulling you into a period of inner listening that your sign does not always naturally choose. Something from the past will want your attention, and giving it that attention will prove more valuable than it initially appears. The Full Moon in Capricorn on June 29 illuminates something in a close relationship and reaches a moment of honest clarity. And Jupiter’s entrance into Leo on the same evening promises that the season to come will bring you more pleasure and creative expansion than you have felt in some time.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
June moves toward you with something considerable, Cancer. The Venus-Jupiter conjunction in your sign on June 9 is one of the most auspicious transits you will experience this year. Practice accepting it because you deserve this luscious period. Mercury stations retrograde in Cancer on June 29 meaning the coming weeks are asking you to slow down and revisit past decisions with a more deliberate hand. Old communications may resurface. A relationship from the past might reach out. Under Gemini season your nervous system is more activated than usual, and for Cancer this can manifest as difficulty discerning which feelings belong to you and which you have absorbed from your environment. Grounding practices that involve the physical body like walking, cooking, or your perennial favorite, time in water, will be genuinely useful. The New Moon on June 14 plants something in the quieter and more hidden domain of your inner life, a seed that will take time to show itself. The Full Moon in Capricorn on June 29 brings your most significant partnerships into honest and clarifying focus.
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40 things you must know about your 40s
A field guide for your Grown Ass Lady decade, written on the eve of my 50th birthday
Some of these “must-knows” are mine. Some of them are from people whose work I’ve trusted along the way — neuroscientists and health experts, writers, and most importantly: women now in their 50s and 60s who told me what was coming.
I gathered some of these nuggets from The Midst community, and none of it is the version of midlife your mother was sold.
Here we go.
You’re entering a cultural moment, one that is much more momentous than previously thought possible.
1. Turning 40 is a rite of passage, not a punishment.
I was anxious when I started my 40s because I felt like I was officially old. Maybe it was because I worked in tech at the time, my boss was younger than me, and I was able to pass for 30-something.
Then every woman over 50 I trusted told me the same thing: you won’t think 40 was old when you’re older. They were right. By 45, I looked back at 40 with something like envy — for how much I still didn’t know I was about to learn.
Also, if you want your 40s to be a big deal, it can be. But if you think of it as just another year, have it your way. That’s the point.
How to build a solo business over 40
Lisa Congdon live with The Midst | June 1, 2026
Join our conversation with the renowned self-taught artist, “late bloomer,” and public political voice
1 pm PDT • 3 pm CDT • 4 pm EDT
Lisa Congdon is best known for her colorful, graphic style and her exploration of themes of joy, liberation, and inclusion. She makes art for clients around the globe, including The Library of Congress, The U.S. Postal Service, Wired Magazine, Amazon, Google, Smith Optics, Warby Parker, Comme des Garcons, Peets Coffee, REI, and MoMa, among many others.
Lisa exhibits internationally, including solo shows at Saint Mary’s College Museum of Art (California), Chefas Projects (Oregon) and Paradigm Gallery (Philadelphia), along with group shows at Hashimoto Contemporary in Los Angeles, Museum of Design Atlanta, and The Contemporary Jewish Museum in San Francisco.
Pssst… Lisa is shutting down her shop in just a few weeks. Shop now!
Thanks, Lady!
“I’m a huge reader of The Midst, and what I love most is that you actually understand midlife as something much richer, stranger, funnier, more ambitious, and more expansive than the usual “reinvention” cliché. Blech.
The Midst is smart, lived-in, curious, and human. I am a woman in midlife building, writing, creating, raising humans, working across multiple identities, and trying to make something meaningful without pretending life is one clean brand deck.”
— EMILY WAGNER, Founder of Groomed LA (@groomedla)
"You succeeded at the wrong life."
I built exactly what I was supposed to build. Good marriage, launched kids, career that mattered, financial security. Retired at 54 and stood in my kitchen thinking — now what? The compass metaphor is the one I needed. Thank you for this.