Reclaiming Valentine’s Day: A political act of self-love

Your full-moon February horoscopes + Must-reads of the week

Feb 12, 2025

Valentine’s Day is noise — tune into yourself instead

Valentine’s Day weekend is here, and let’s be real — this holiday is mostly a manufactured spectacle designed to sell flowers, overpriced dinners, and unrealistic expectations. Women our age know better. We’ve seen enough to understand that real love — self-love, especially — isn’t about heart-shaped chocolates or social media-worthy date nights. It’s about claiming our time, energy, and worth without apology.

For decades, we’ve been conditioned to believe love is something we should constantly seek, nurture, and maintain for others — partners, children, family. And yet, we are rarely encouraged to give that same level of devotion to ourselves. This isn’t just a personal issue; it’s systemic. Women, particularly those in midlife, are expected to pour from an empty cup, to accommodate and shrink, to put others first at every turn. Choosing yourself without guilt isn’t just self-care — it’s rebellion.

So, let’s cut through the noise and reclaim this weekend for something real. Here’s how:

1. Stop performing, start living

Skip the empty gestures and show up for yourself in a way that actually matters. Speak up when you’re overlooked, make the bold decision you’ve been avoiding, and stop waiting for permission to do what you want. Whether it’s treating yourself to a solo dinner, taking a long hike, or simply existing loudly in a world that wants women to be small, reject the idea that your joy should be quiet or reserved for others. You deserve to be seen, heard, and celebrated — without needing permission. You don’t need to fit into some outdated, scripted role of what a woman should be — own who you actually are. Take up space.

Dance like the whole damn world is watching | Serena Williams at the Super Bowl

2. Reject the Valentine’s Day guilt trip

Why let a capitalist holiday dictate how you feel about your life? Whether you're single, in a relationship, divorced, or somewhere in between, don’t fall for the idea that February 14th measures your worth. If the whole thing feels ridiculous, that’s because it is. Spend the day how you want — not how Hallmark says you should.

3. Real love is collective, not conditional

Forget the pressure to focus love in one direction. Real love isn’t about a partner validating you — it’s about connection, sisterhood, and solidarity. Call out the friend who’s been struggling, advocate for a woman who’s being dismissed, and lift up the people who actually matter in your life. Love that isn’t transactional is the only love worth prioritizing.

4. Interrogate the narrative

Who told you that love means a romantic partner, a picture-perfect home, or constant self-sacrifice? Probably a society that profits off your insecurities. Love doesn’t mean settling. It doesn’t mean enduring. It doesn’t mean being someone else’s emotional crutch. It means living on your own terms and refusing to play small.

5. Bet on yourself, not on a fantasy

The most radical act of love you can commit? Believing in your own damn future. Take the class, make the career jump, move to that city you’ve always wanted to. Stop investing in what-ifs and start prioritizing what’s real. Your life is happening now — don’t waste another second waiting for permission to enjoy it.

Valentine’s Day? Overrated. Choosing yourself? Revolutionary. This year, forget the clichés and take back your time, your energy, and your worth. You don’t need a holiday to tell you that you matter—you just need to decide that for yourself.

The ‘Stack stack

Your curated list of weekly Substack must-reads

1. It’s Alright to Cry by Momspreading

I love the recommendations at the top of this post and the general vibe throughout.

2. Creatine, for brawn and brains? by Dr Nicola Guess

I hear “creatine” thrown around a lot, which possibly says something about the places I spend my time (virtually and otherwise), so this was incredibly helpful to read.

3. What rest actually is, and how I learnt to do it by beauty & bone

Is there anyone out there who can’t use more rest? If so, feel free to skip this story — and please don’t tell the rest of us.

4. America Breaks My Heart–And That’s Why I’m Staying by Don’t Tread On Kids

“Leaving is easy. Staying and fighting is harder — but it’s also necessary.”

5. The Musical Dynamics of Perimenopause by The Periprofessional

As a music lover, I thoroughly enjoyed this metaphor. Also, it was such an informative post!

Mark your calendars: Important astrological dates in February 2025

Feb. 12 – Full Moon (Leo): Highlights self-expression, creativity, and personal recognition.
Feb. 14 – Mercury enters Pisces: Intuitive and compassionate communication — avoid misunderstandings.
Feb. 23: Mars Direct (Cancer): Motivation and assertiveness return, especially in home and emotional matters.

These transits influence creativity, relationships, and decision-making, so be sure to align your actions accordingly.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’re a big-picture thinker and that’s a strength that sets you apart. But recently you may have felt as though you’ve distanced yourself too far from the little things. While mundane tasks aren’t your favorite, taking care of them now will clear up space for your creativity to flow much more freely.

Your social life seems to be much more active than you anticipated, and though you typically thrive in this setting, it’s important to also protect your energy. You love connecting with others, but right now you’re being asked to set boundaries if you’re feeling drained. It’s all about quality over quantity.

This month, don’t forget to check in with yourself. Take time to reconnect with your inner world. You’re filled with new ideas, and the best way to manifest them is by embracing a bit of calm. A little stillness can lead to clarity, and clarity will help you focus on what truly matters.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

February’s energy is deeply introspective for you, Pisces. The Aquarius New Moon highlights healing and subconscious patterns, urging you to let go of old wounds or limiting beliefs. Mars retrograde brings delays in family matters or domestic projects, offering you a little more time to look over your priorities and reflect on what truly nurtures your emotional well-being. It’s a month for revisiting old stories and releasing what no longer serves you.

Near Valentines Day, the Full Moon in Leo shifts your focus to relationships, urging you to find balance between giving and receiving. This is a powerful time to connect more deeply and celebrate the bonds that bring you joy. It could spark a few a-ha moments, especially when it comes to understanding your own desires in love. Trust your intuition to guide you, if you’ve been holding back on expressing what you need, now is the time to speak your truth with compassion.

On the health front, this is a good month to slow down and nurture your body and mind. You might find yourself drawn to reconnect with your spiritual practices or dive deeper into self-care routines that replenish your energy.

Finally, you’ll want to take extra care with your spending. Mars retrograde suggests that impulsive purchases or unclear financial decisions could create unnecessary stress.

Read your sign’s horoscope on the-midst.com here!

February 2025 horoscopes were originally published on the-midst.com.