Self-love reminder: Celebrate YOU this Valentine's Day + gift ideas for your sexy self
Plus: The #1 killer of women our age — heart disease — and what to do about it
BeWell | The Midst beauty, style & wellness newsletter
I volunteered to head yearbook photos for my sixth-grade son’s elementary school last week, which included witnessing the middle-school lunch that interrupted the cafeteria’s photo sessions. At a table in a far corner, two long-faced boys ate their bag lunches, collecting single dollar bills from students who bought paper roses for their classmates and teachers.
Why would Henry’s progressive city school create a tradition where so many kids’ ego-fragile hearts could be broken? That sunken feeling of rejection resurfaced as a muscle memory of shame, remembering feeling like the only girl in the entire school without a surprise carnation on Valentine’s Day. Immediately, I sat down with all the girls at the table writing love notes, and Venmoed the boys three dollars for three roses for my son — if only to protect him from possibly feeling like any of this matters.
February 14 marks the perfect opportunity for those of us who rebelled in our youth by dressing in all black (every year, it was the '90s!) on this day to communicate a deep-down knowing that all the dyed flowers and sheltered popularity did not quantify our value, our love.
As adults, we can sink back into the superficial meanings of these socialized expectations. Of course, we do — we’re surrounded by this crap, constantly. Still, it only takes a moment of clarity — of sitting with yourself to remember what truly matters: You’re no longer that young girl with or without a flower in homeroom. You’re a grown-ass lady (or as we say at The Midst, a “GAL”), who is capable of flushing doubts of self-worth now or any time of the year with a deep-down knowing that self-love — valuing yourself and radiating that beautiful energy — is the only attention that matters.
This St. Valentine’s Day, I beg you to celebrate you. Not because of commercialization, and certainly not because of religion, but because you deserve it. And if you’re the kind of GAL who still wants that damn carnation, then I have a few ideas for that as well. Happy You Day, boo.
Gifts to love — all by yourself
I am OBSESSED with all of the jewelry Little Rooms offers in its online-only boutique. Based out of L.A., this woman-founded, family-run, direct-to-consumer business vibes with what I want to support — and wear. Check out this dope “Myself” heart pendant ($36) — perfect for V. Day self-love — along with dozens of other necklaces, rings, earrings, and more that whisper punk-rock and scream style.
I’ve been obsessed with the hotness steaming off of eyewear designers Gabriel+Simone’s Instagram. As you can see from the gorg’ pic above, new glasses can immediately update a stale look (and alternately send you backward in time!). Gift yourself a new pair of blue-light readers ($48) from this Brooklyn-based shop, and look better in your fabulous, functional Valentine.
If loving yourself up and down is your idea of a happy V. Day, then Sol De Janeiro Brazilian Bum Bum Cream ($46) is your jam. This cult beauty fave “boom boom” cream smells like an addictive scoop of salted caramel, pistachio, and vanilla. Its caffeine-rich guarana tightens skin (think thighs and tummy) for smooth, hydrated skin. Plus, zero sulfates, mineral oil, parabens, or animal testing will have you feeling like the Brazilian goddess you were born to be.
Get your chakras in check, and the rest will follow.
Don’t know much about these seven points of energy in your body? Chakra Healing: A Beginner's Guide to Self-Healing Techniques that Balance the Chakras ($10) explains: “Chakras are …energy vortexes [that] transport energy from the universe around you into your aura and body.” With over 27,000 reviews comprising a 4.8-star rating, this guide will provide insight into nutrition, crystals, mindfulness, and more that will align and balance your body. Now that’s some self-love for V. Day and on.
Flowers die; get a plant.
Order yourself a money tree for V. Day that’s easy to care for with the help of a sunny window and a weekly watering schedule. These pet-friendly, air-purifying plants are said to improve concentration and memory, as well as direct feng shui energy toward manifesting financial good fortune. Moreso, their five-leaf stems represent the elements of balance — earth, fire, water, wind, and metal — which further creates balance and harmony in your home.
Too obvious? Maybe.
But if you don’t have a reliable vibrator yet, it’s time. You can find hundreds of self-love toys on Amazon, and this waterproof wand by Ava ($19) has 20 patterns and eight speeds to get you off. Happy Vvvvvvv… Day!
Of course, you can celebrate self-love in a million other beautiful ways — one of the most significant being the gift of time. Start the experience by writing down 10 things that make you uniquely you and express gratitude for these gifts. Keep these close to your heart. Next create a candlelit, soul-music-fulled, extra-bubbly spa moment with all of your favorite potions. Be grateful for the beautiful body that carries your soul. Be grateful for you.
Heart health: 3 things you can do to lower your risk for the No. 1 killer of women
By Emily Ornberg
This Valentine’s Day, let’s take care of our hearts, literally.
From hot flashes to muffin tops, some trademark menopause symptoms are often talked about and hard to miss. Still, possibly the most dangerous symptom is the one you can't see, feel, or may not even know about: heart disease.
Heart disease is the leading cause of death for women in the U.S., affecting 1 in 5 women, with the risks heightened once you hit menopause. According to the American Heart Association, heart disease and stroke cause 1 in 3 deaths among women each year — more than all cancers combined.
Cardiovascular disease in menopausal women
Menopause causes a drop in hormonal levels that previously protected women against cardiovascular disease. This decline in hormones can contribute to an heightened susceptibility to heart troubles, including:
Higher blood pressure, often manifesting through hot flashes and night sweats
Stiffening of arteries which are crucial for good circulation
Increase in bad cholesterol and decrease in good cholesterol
For women with existing cardiovascular health risks, the onset of menopause can accelerate these challenges. Research also shows depression during the menopause transition is strongly linked to higher cardiovascular disease risk.
3 things you can do today to help improve your heart health
1. Know your levels
Blood pressure, blood sugar, and body mass index should be monitored every year, but more often if your numbers are out of range. Cholesterol level is also important, and what’s a healthy number for you is determined based on other risk factors. (Your doctor can help you figure this one out.)
High blood pressure is known as the silent killer because its symptoms are invisible – even at fatal levels. A great way to keep an eye on this is to have a way to monitor your blood pressure at home, like this smart monitor. Blood pressure is typically recorded as two numbers, written as a ratio like this: 117/76. (Read as “117 over 76” millimeters of mercury.) Here’s what you should know about readings:
Systolic: The top number, the higher of the two numbers, measures the pressure in the arteries when the heart beats (when the heart muscle contracts).
Diastolic: The bottom number, the lower of the two numbers, measures the pressure in the arteries when the heart is resting between heartbeats.
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