Making faces: The choice to anti-age (or not)
PLUS! 3 Midst-tested no-Botox options for smoothing wrinkles
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One of the greatest privileges in life is watching people you love grow with age. Research shows that as we tack on more years, we become more altruistic and trusting, with more willpower and a better sense of humor — a fact many of us will recognize in our friends and selves. While this internal development remains key, witnessing others’ growth in physical form is wildly fascinating and beautiful.
I’m captivated by this transformation in my girlfriends — my tribe, the ones I’ve known since the first round of crop-tops. We see each other in ways that only we can — with an appreciation for the gentle creases along our eyes, the glittering grey in our hairlines, the conviction in our hands, our mouths, our feet.
The beauty I see in my friends makes me rethink all the ways I try to stop time.
Products to freeze our appearances to circa 2004 appear relentlessly. The anti-aging skincare industry globally amassed over $330 billion in 2021 — indicating the sheer volume of these products and ads being pushed on us GALs. (On TikTok alone, the "anti-aging" hashtag has a staggering 3.1 billion views, promoting costly and laborious anti-aging routines to its young audience.)
But what if these products didn’t exist? What if the physical processes of aging were celebrated? What if we spent our hard-earned money elsewhere?
Rock out with your age out
Today I’m headed to one of my best friend’s birthday parties. So much has changed since we met over 20 years ago when she responded to a Chicago Reader ad for a guitarist for my band. First, we’re celebrating at noon, not midnight. But more so, we’ve both grown inside and out. She presents herself as a wildly confident, natural beauty, with mere whispers of 47 against her rockstar aura. She’s always been a rebel.
Honestly, I’d never want to go back to 2004 when we let the rock loose — we’ve become so much more since then. Our minds, spirits, and bodies reflect this. Still, many of us, myself included, choose to press rewind in the looks department. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to how to present our age in this wild world — just an awareness of how and why. And thankfully, our girlfriends can be our shatter-proof mirrors to tame it all.
3 no-tox options for when Botox isn’t for you
Over the past few months, I found myself repeatedly Googling, “What does a 46-year-old who’s never had Botox look like?” while desperately wondering if everyone in the world was getting the injections except me. Spoiler alert: The matches for this kind of query are essentially non-existent. And I could have just looked in the mirror at any time to see a 46-year-old face without Botox.
The genesis of this search was twofold. One, I felt like everyone around me was getting Botox. And two, I am a woman in my mid-forties who was becoming slightly uncomfortable with the way my face wrinkles seem to be compounding quicker than I'd like. My motive wasn’t necessarily that I didn’t want to look my age. It was more so that I wanted to know if my wrinkles were “age-appropriate —or if I was on the fast track to Wrinkle Town.
Botox isn’t right for me
Botox isn’t for me for several reasons. Some of them include the fear of putting known toxins into my face, but others are less lofty, like my needle-phobia. I have no doubt that if I ever showed up to a Botox appointment, I wouldn’t be able to get through the injection. I know this because I’ve cried, like an embarrassing amount, every time I’ve gotten my ears pierced, and the last one was when I was 40. Also, because I have vasovagal syncope, so I pass out at least 50% of the time I’m around needles.
Because of this, I set out on a mission to try all the noninvasive offerings I could find. Here are some thoughts on three of the relatively popular ones that I tried.
1. Face yoga
I stumbled into a face yoga class during a weekend girls’ trip to Civanna. During this class, the instructor, Kat Parks, walked us through the science behind how face yoga theoretically works — by bringing more blood flow to our faces and helping smooth lines by counteracting our usual facial expressions. Then, she led us through about ten poses.
Between opening my eyes wide like a bug-eyed serial killer and a move that was similar to blowing raspberries in the air until my lips were mostly numb, I felt mostly silly throughout the experience. However, I also acknowledge that when I do Vinyasa yoga, my muscles lengthen and tighten, so I believe that face yoga can have a similar impact on my facial muscles.
I’ve found several face yoga classes offered online and in person, but you could also watch YouTube versions or download one of many apps out there, such as Luvly, to create your own routine.
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