Revolutionize your life by doing less
+ Cat Power, now 51, on being 40 and her a-ha after leaving a mental ward
#HBDGAL
“In a culture where everything is anti-aging — every product is an anti-aging product, everything you’re supposed to eat is an anti-aging thing. I think we all get better with age — the culture is set up to tell us, in our particular society, that it’s the wrong thing. That you should be fighting it and resisting it with everything that you have, which is kind of ridiculous because in the end, aging is going to win.”
— Oprah, 69 (#HBDGAL on January 29)
"Now that I’m 40, I want to be happy like I was when I was a kid flipping on the trampoline listening to Van Halen’s ‘Jump.’ When I walked out of the mental ward at Mount Sinai, I realized that my life was in my hands, not in the hands of God, however you want to define him. I realized it was my responsibility to live my life."
— Chan Marshall, now 51 (#HBDGAL on January 21)
1/6: Rinko Kikuchi celebrated 42
1/13: Shonda Rhimes celebrated 53
1/17: Lisa Congdon celebrated 55
1/17: Zooey Deschanel celebrated 43
1/17: Michelle Obama celebrated 59
1/25: Alicia Keys celebrated 42
Overwhelmed or exhausted? You might want to try gentle productivity.
Here’s how to adopt a ‘pressure off’ approach to life, with insights from Juliet Landau-Pope, author of Being More Productive
By Victoria Stokes
Question for you: Have you ever looked at your to-do list and panicked? Does a feeling of overwhelm wash over you as you wonder how on earth you’ll get it all done?
Between meetings, the growing pile of laundry, and the endless stream of texts buzzing you, there’s little time left for you. That’s before you even factor in getting everything done at work, caring for your family, and working on your personal and professional goals.
Feeling exhausted by the constant pressure to keep up with work, family, and social commitments? Sick of jumping from one task to the next, feeling more and more exhausted as you go? You’re certainly not alone.
Research shows that women — particularly working parents — are feeling burdened by the weight of endless responsibility. If you’re one of them, here’s the good news. A new approach known as gentle productivity is emerging and it may be the antidote to spreading yourself too thin.
Gentle productivity is “person-centered”
Juliet Landau-Pope, a productivity coach and author of Being More Productive, says gentle productivity is an approach to time management that’s more person-centered than task-orientated. It allows you to get stuff done without burning out or melting down.
“In contrast to previous approaches to productivity that focus on setting goals and ticking items off to-do lists, gentle productivity takes a more holistic view of what it means to take charge of your life,” Landau-Pope explains. “A central feature is the emphasis on self-compassion rather than self-criticism.”
“Dear Dixie: My husband is fine with me doing a threesome without him — but am I OK with it?”
By Dixie Laite, Dear Dixie advice columnist
Dear Dixie,
I’m 46, married, a mom of two, and a busy career woman. I've been married to my husband for 20+ years, and our intimate life has been going downhill for several years (he’s almost asexual now). I still have my needs, which are even stronger than before!
Due to his lack of interest in sex, we agreed a few years ago that I may selectively seek pleasures outside of the marriage, as long as it doesn't affect our family dynamics and I keep it 100% discreet.
He was fine with the “don't ask, don't tell” policy. However, after two brief intimate dates with men (both during my work travels), I found that was too risky. Instead, I preferred “no-strings-attached” relationships with women who were also seeking discreet relationships to enjoy lesbian sex. I was fortunate to meet some amazing women in the last few years (who were also married and wanted to keep things discreet) and enjoyed those beautiful moments with them thoroughly ;).
Because of the “don't ask, don't tell” policy I have with hubs, I didn't feel the need to share any of this with him. I may have mentioned some in passing casually, but he never wanted to know the details. I was also managing these relationships well despite being a busy career mom, and it didn't impact our family dynamics in any way.
But now I’m dealing with a new situation where the woman I’m seeing would like to open our relationship with her husband and possibly include him. I never had to deal with a similar situation before because the women I’ve dated were fine with keeping things discreet from their husbands.
The woman I'm seeing now is 28 and has a 7-year-old son, but I’m concerned that including a third person may change the dynamics and I may not be able to have the same control and discreetness I maintained so perfectly over these years.
Can you please share your thoughts? Thanks a million!
Madison xo
We’re in the midst of the building the gateway drug for the modern 40-something experience. Thanks for your support and see you next week!
— Amy Cuevas Schroeder & The Midster GALs
P.S. We’re still collecting votes for our official The Midst logo. Vote here!